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It’s been a rollercoaster year of heartbreak and happiness — and heartbreak again — for James Van Der Beek and his wife Kimberly. The couple have been very open about their past experiences with miscarriage, and now, the actor revealed the devastating news that Kimberly, who was expecting the couple’s sixth child, recently miscarried at 17 weeks. Going through a single miscarriage can be devastating — let alone two within a year’s time, and the Van Der Beeks went through this experience in November 2019.
In an Instagram post, the Dancing With The Stars cast member shared the update alongside an image of Kimberly and one of their children. “After suffering a brutal, very public miscarriage last November, we were overjoyed to learn we were pregnant. This time, we kept the news to ourselves. But last weekend, once again, 17 weeks in… the soul we’d been excited to welcome into the world had lessons for our family that did not include joining us in a living physical body.”
He recounted the emotional experience:
We rushed @vanderkimberly to the hospital by ambulance for another harrowing night of blood transfusions. And as I stood by, grateful for the good people who navigated the maze of regulations to save her life – but helpless to do much for the woman I loved other than massage her feet and try to keep her warm (with my #DWTS robe, ironically) – something kept running through my head, again and again, which I now feel compelled to share.
“We’ve got to take better care of each other. The world is in pain right now. There’s denial, shock, numbness, anger – all the old patterns we cling to when deep trauma is unearthed. And there are no words to ease that pain… to make the process hurt less or to solve it quickly. But the way out of it? Starts with an open, broken-hearted contemplation of this question: How can we take better care of each other?”
He concluded by sharing his condolences to all of the families who also have been through this traumatic experience. “And to all the families who have gone through this… you are not alone. ?.”
Heartbreakingly, this is the couple’s fifth miscarriage. And while the topic can still feel taboo for many — and no one, of course, should feel compelled to share an experience if they don’t want to — the Van Der Beeks have been very open about their difficult journey, sharing their belief that we need to change the conversation around it. “Miscarriage (a word that needs replacement — nobody failed to ‘carry,’ these things sometimes just happen) is something that people rarely talk about, and often go through in secret,” James wrote last year. “But there needs to be zero shame around it, or around giving yourself the time and space to grieve.”
Before you go, see how Arie Luyendyk Jr. & Lauren Burnham and other celebrities are opening up the conversation around miscarriage.
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