Psyche: So You’re okay with this Christmas much better with difficult Relatives

Thus, the celebration of love does not become a Nuisance

At Christmas, the whole family meets to eat to give, together, to drink and to spend time together. In many families, it is also to unliebsamerer family members. Whether it is the dominant mother-in-law, the know-it-all stubborn brother, or weird uncle is – in many families there is one Person, with the help of a confrontation is pretty much inevitable. An experienced sociologist, gives tips on how to get along with difficult Relatives in a better place, Christmas is for the family drama.

Dr. Christine Carter is a sociologist and has worked on numerous social studies at the University of California. As a writer, she wrote also several successful psychological books, and she was the Director of the parents blog “Raising Happiness”. For Christmas, the psychology-expert tips on how to with difficult Relatives this Christmas was the celebration of love. You also have someone, with which you can do at Christmas is hard? This can help you.

Give you do people what to be, because you want to do something

Carter says many of the conflicts arise out of the desire to feel useful and to be a part of something Bigger. If you give difficult people a task, then it gives you the opportunity to focus on something else than on yourself. The way how the task is fulfilled, you should leave the Person. If you ask someone to do something, you should also add a justification. According to the sociologist, a study has shown that the word “results because” the request is more likely to be approved and executed. The prompt, “It would be great if You could peel the carrots, because we need to cook” is verpreche according to Carter, as a part of “Would you please peel the carrots”.

First of all, to the own needs to take care of

According to Dr. Carter, it’s control much more difficult his emotions, if you are tired or in Stress. In a thin-skinned state, it’ll be much faster to fight or flight reactions. You should, if possible, try to keep calm. If you notice that you get angry, then you should rely on in difficult situations to better the room and take a breath.

Of teachings reticle

As the sociologist explains, we feel often the strong desire to be the difficult Person to identify the alleged error. But this Situation will not get any easier. Instead, one should concentrate on to help other people or maybe even the difficult Person.

Accept instead of change

You want to build a closer relationship to a Related, but are disappointed each time when she or he behaves so, as you imagine it? Instead of a different Person to change, advises Carter to accept the Person as it is, including all the inconvenience. You should also let go of the idea that things must happen the way you imagine it.

Empathy instead of correction

The expert recommends to try the difficult Person to listen and try to understand why this Person thinks so. This does not mean that you have to be with the Person’s consent. Carter relies on psychological research that shows that people get along better with each other if you agree with their points of view, without judging or condemning. “We are all just looking for love and recognition,” the sociologist, to bear in mind. In the Christmas season, this is the greatest gift that we can give a difficult Person – and ourselves. (vb)