Why we’re not ending a bad relationship?
At some point in our lives we may find ourselves in romantic relationships that make us unhappy, but somehow never finish them. Why persist in bezrabotnaya when you can just break up? A new study has found the answer that will surprise you.
Unfortunately, a happy romantic relationship are more common in books, movies, and instagram than in real life. But why are people so hard to escape from a situation in cotoroceni not feel happy?
One possible answer may lie in the fact that such relationships are to human normal. He gets used to them, for fear of the unknown and loneliness. Or, perhaps, the unfortunate partner is afraid of parting that he will not be able to find a better partner and build a strong and happy relationship. But a new study suggests that the real answer lies elsewhere.
The study was conducted by Samantha Joel, which collaborates with the University of Utah in salt lake city, and Western University in Ontario, Canada. Insights Joel and her team, presented in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggests that the decision to stay in poor relationships can arise because of altruism, not because of selfishness or fear of the future.
Possible causes programuppdateringar relations
In several previous studies it has been concluded that people can be hard to let go of partners that make them unhappy because they are afraid of being alone. Others note that people are more likely to stay in a relationship if they understand that the efforts their partner made to save the relationship, match their own.
All these reasons indicate that in the first place, people think about whether (and to what extent) the relationship, or if they can meet potrebnosti the future. However, the current study suggests that a key factor in the decision to stay in an unhappy relationship may be altruism. Here’s how commented on the results of Joel:
When people understand that these partner relations are important, the chances of a breakup is greatly reduced. This was true even of those people who did not consider the relationship important, or even was dissatisfied with them. As a rule, we don’t want to hurt our partners, so take care and take into account their wishes.
Is it really worth it?
But where does all this altruism? Joel believes that when we realize that our partner is very interested in relationships, though they may not share this feeling, it can lead to the formation of hope for the future. Thus, the unhappy partner may prefer to give the relationship a second chance in the hope that at some point everything will be better. Often, however, such hope is unfounded.
We can’t know how adequate the perception of other people. Perhaps people overestimate how perfect is his partner, and how painful the parting.
Joel notes that, although there is the likelihood that the relationship will improve,in fact often the opposite happens, and life together of the couple, on the contrary, worsens, prolonging the agony. In addition, even if your partner is really loving and loyal, try asking yourself the question of whether to maintain the relationship solely because of the hope for the future.